Who's Bad?
by Patrick O'Ceannliath
Summary: Litwak's Arcade has expanded, and has added a one-of-a-kind game: God of War Ultimate Collection, starring none other than Kratos, the God of War himself! Kratos however, finds this new world confusing, and struggles to adjust. With the help of arcade citizens such as Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope von Schweetz, and a twist of fate, Kratos may soon find his place, for good or for evil.
1. Chapter 1

Who's Bad?

By Patrick O'Ceannliath

CHAPTER 1

All Kratos could remember at first was darkness, before being awakened to his task.

As if re-living a dream, Kratos walked through the peak of his life as God of War upon Olympus. He watched as his glorious Spartans laid waste to Rhodes; burning the city, raping its women, pillaging its resources. Soon, another glorious victory for Sparta would be at hand, as proclaimed by one of Spartan's generals in praise to Lord Kratos. Determined to deliver the final death blow to Sparta, Kratos ventured forth, but not before being stopped by Athena, who persuaded him to give up his quest for conquest, as the gods would not stand by him. Rejecting her warning, Kratos pursued his path, and ventured to Rhodes, rising as a giant greater than the colossus which guarded the city gates. Before any damage could be done however, an eagle from Olympus flew from the heavens, and settled upon the Rhodes Colossus, infusing it with life, and depriving Kratos of height.

"ATHENA!" cried out Kratos. "YOU CONSPIRE AGAINST ME?!"

Kratos felt himself continue to shrink to human size, and dropped between the broken dome of a building to begin his battle.

Enraged by the shrinking down to the size of his worshipers, Kratos vowed to make Athena pay, and made this vow known to all.

"Athena, you WILL suffer for this!" bellowed Kratos.

All around him, Rhodesian Warriors faced him, ready to fight up against the God of War no matter what the cost, including death, which Kratos was all the more happy to grant them. Before the battle could begin however, Kratos felt himself frozen for a brief moment, and looked all around. He did not see anything of worth, until he looked directly behind him.

Kratos realized he's facing the opposite of what he'd be looking at in the mirror, and the only way he could decipher what he could see was by gazing into the reflection of his blades, which he did, and could now read what was behind him.

Upon what seemed to be a wall of parchment, Kratos could see the following message:

PRESS MAROON FOR _LIGHT ATTACK_

PRESS GREEN FOR _HEAVY ATTACK_

PRESS RED TO_ GRAB_

Kratos did not recognize these strange-looking symbols, yet he was able to read, and understand them. Puzzled by these visions, Kratos soon found he did not have very much time to think, as Rhodesian Warriors began to rush in his direction. Without a moment's hesitation, Kratos began deploying his blades left and right, smiting any enemies that came into his line of fire. Oddly enough, he found himself performing light attacks, heavy attacks, and grabs, as though he weren't even thinking about his moves. Before long, Kratos found himself met with another ominous message on parchment:

PRESS BLOCK TO _BLOCK ATTACKS_

Kratos continued his defense against the surmounting forces of Rhodesian Warriors, and found himself utilizing the block function to follow up his assault. The Rhodesian Colossus roared from behind open windows, yet Kratos continued to focus upon the soldiers advancing. Soon again, and what began to be much to Kratos' annoyance, another parchment message appeared.

LAUNCH

PRESS AND HOLD GREEN TO _LAUNCH AN ENEMY INTO THE AIR_

And so this pattern of fighting, and what appeared to be "instructions", seemed to continue, but it did not deter Kratos from his mission. Throughout Rhodes, Kratos blazed his trail, killing any enemies that stood in his way, until he finally crossed paths with the Rhodesian Colossus. Enemies continued to block his path, and Kratos continued to strike them down, all the while the Colossus struck its mighty palm in his direction. Kratos was hit a couple of times, suffering major damage, and managed to evade the rest of the attacks from the Colossus, delivering some damage of his own, until the Colossus unleashed a shockwave of electricity, and then Kratos fell, and his vision began to black.

In the same place where the parchment messages could usually be found, he saw the following message.

GAME OVER

CONTINUE?

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

"Aw man, I didn't even get that far!" said a mysterious, teen-like voice, which Kratos heard as he faded away. "That was my last dollar!"

And then, all there was for Kratos, was darkness.

Until what seemed like a moment later.

This time, Kratos found himself a slave of the Furies, chained within the Prison of the Damned. Reliving these events of his life, he groaned in pain as Megaera tortured him in his shackles, and then he escaped, pursuing her throughout the fortress born of the body of of Hekatonkheiries.

Eventually, Kratos endured the same scenario; enduring enough damage, being struck down by an enemy, and blacking out. Sometimes he would be revived, and the "countdown" he would see would stop abruptly as he was, other time he would stay blacked out, until he would later be revived, and would embark at the beginning of one of the most memorable crossroads in his life.

Eventually, the cycle seemed to cease almost permanently, and instead of remaining blacked out, Kratos found himself in Sparta. Men, women, children and soldiers seemed to head to their dwellings for the evening, and one dwelling seemed empty.

"Goodnight Kratos." said one of the villagers. "Sleep well."

"Ehm, yes, goodnight." replied Kratos awkwardly.

"Goodnight Lord Kratos." said a little girl.

"Goodnight." said Kratos.

Kratos was extremely puzzled; he was not on Olympus, much less did he expect to see mortals wishing him goodnight, as if he were an ordinary citizen. Nevertheless, he decided to go with the flow.

"Forget where you are supposed to sleep?" asked a voice.

Kratos turned around, and saw an enemy before him.

"Hermes!" growled Kratos. "You have a lot of nerve following me here!"

"Relax Kratos, it's not game time." replied Hermes. "And the code programmed me to be the one endowed with the knowledge of our existence once we became plugged in for the first time."

All Kratos could do was stand there, and look on with a confused look.

"You speak nonsense!" replied Kratos.

Hermes sighed. "Look, if you're wondering where to sleep, your home is over there, and this is where you retire to between the 4 realms once game time is over for the day."

Hermes pointed to the Spartan house that appeared nicer than the rest, and had Kratos' omega symbol above the door.

"I've done my part, now we won't see each other until somebody plays God of War III." replied Hermes. "So long Kratos!"

Before Kratos could respond, Hermes dashed in the other direction using his boots, and was out of sight. The sky was completely black, and literally nothing was taking place. Not seeing much else he would be able to do, Kratos went into the home bearing his symbol, where he found a cupboard, a table for eating, and a bed; simple yet comfortable. Settling down into his humble bed, Kratos went to sleep.

About 8 hours later, Kratos heard a knock at his door, which woke him from sleep. Yawning a mighty yawn, Kratos got up from his bed, and opened the door.

"Hello new neighbor!" said a cheerful, child-like voice.

In front of Kratos, "hovering" eye level, there stood a creature unlike any he had seen. It appeared to be a fox, but had anthropomorphic features, and unbelievably two tails! The fox was using these tails to "fly" in place, spinning them around which gave him lift off the ground.

"My name is Tails, and on behalf of the President of the Arcade, and the entire game community, I would like to welcome you to Litwak's Arcade." said the fox. "I'm here to welcome you to arcade orientation."

Kratos just stood there, looking dumbfounded, and reached for his blades.

"What sort of enemy are you?!" said Kratos, brandishing his blades. "A spawn of Hades perhaps?!"

"No, no, I don't even know what Hades means!" replied Tails. "I'm just here to show you around!"

"Then show me to your master, demon!" demanded Kratos, lifting his blades in a threatening gesture. "NOW!"

"Uh oh!" said Tails, pulling out a walkie talkie. "I'm coming back! Code FD! We've got a Code FD!"

Tails flew away like a bat out of hell, and Kratos chased after him in hot pursuit. Tails was panicked, but knew where to go, and eventually led Kratos to an area where there were 5 doors.

The doors each had Roman Numerals on them, except for the 5th, which read "GOWUC GCS", and this is the door that Tails opened.

"OK come and get me scary guy!" taunted Tails. "Hop in!"

Leaping through the door with a roar, Kratos lunged to try and attack Tails, but missed him, and landed in a strange device. Feeling himself sitting on a seat, he soon found he was bound by some strange binding, which he could not break free from. Next to him, the strange fox sat.

"You might want to relax." said Tails. "The seatbelts are for your safety, and the ride can be a little bumpy."

"Once I am free of these bindings, your fate is sealed!" growled Kratos.

"Welcome to Platform 39, God of War Ultimate Collection." said a female voice over a loudspeaker. "Train 048 now departing to Game Central Station."

With a whir of mechanical noises and a hiss of steam, the shuttle containing both Tails and Kratos traveled down the circuitry of the extension cord, and within moments, they were in Game Central Station of Litwak's Arcade.

"Train 048 from God of War Ultimate Collection, now arriving at Game Central Station." said the female voice. "Please return to your home game no later than 1 hour prior to arcade business hours, have a wonderful day!"

"Here we go." said Tails with a sigh.

The seatbelts unleashed, and Tails zoomed out of the railcar. Kratos followed after him in hot pursuit.

"I need backup, Code FD!" said Tails on his walkie talkie, as he exited from the car.

As expected, a crowd of other video game characters waited for him outside the railcar. Kratos lunged at Tails, brandishing his blades, but found himself knocked backwards onto the ground, and unconscious, by a clothesline maneuver from a massive arm.

"Hey, knock that off!" said the owner of the arm. "That's no way to treat a guy who's trying to welcome you."

"Thanks Ralph!" replied Tails. "This guy's a live wire!"

"No problem buddy." replied Wreck-It Ralph. "Who is this guy anyway?"

Wreck-It Ralph looked down at this strange new character, not having recognized him from before.

"OK everyone, out of the way." said Surge Protector, materializing and placing Kratos in electrical energy handcuffs. "Everything is under control until the Sheriff gets here."

"Yeah, everything's under control, because I was doing YOUR job." said Wreck-It Ralph with disdain.

"Yeah, whatever." said Surge Protector dismissively. "I'm sure there was no real danger anyway."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that when the Sheriff gets here." said Wreck-It Ralph, looking at Kratos with a puzzling look, and then addressing him. "So fella, are you a good guy, or a bad guy?"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The darkness was upon him again, although this time, Kratos felt a raging pain within his cranium.

Blinking and opening his eyes, Kratos found his hands shackled with some sort of energy, and he was behind what appeared to be solid iron bars.

"Hey, look who's awake." said a friendly-sounding voice. "Hope you're feeling OK."

Kratos rose from a cot chained to the wall, and looked forward with blurry vision. All he could see thus far, were blurry lines, and a massive, red and peach-ish figure outside those lines.

"Who….or what…." said Kratos, in a hungover tone. "Are you?"

"The name's Wreck-It Ralph, but you can call me Ralph." replied Wreck-It Ralph. "What is your name?"

"I am Kratos, God of War!" announced Kratos.

"Nice to meet you Kratos." replied Ralph. "Sorry about having to take you down like that, but you were going to attack Tails and that's not cool. I wanted to make sure you were OK."

Upon discovering that Ralph had caused his massive headache, Kratos lunged towards the bars, but found his hands were bound in some sort of strange force.

"Easy there buddy, it was nothing personal." said Ralph. "Just trying to look out for everyone's safety. I know you're new here."

"Face me behind these bars you coward!" bellowed Kratos. "Feel the wrath of the God of War!"

All of the sudden, Kratos felt 2 sharp pangs in his side, followed by a burst of electricity all over his body, causing him to mutter gibberish and seize violently. After a moment, it stopped, and Kratos sat back down on his cot.

TJ Calhoun, from Hero's Duty, was holding a taser in her hand and had deployed it into Kratos.

"That's enough out of you!" said a gruff female voice. "The Sheriff should be here shortly to have a word with you, I SUGGEST you calm down, or I will calm you down!"

"Release me from your sorcery, underworld Amazon!" demanded Kratos.

In response, TJ lit up Kratos with the taser once more, making him jump as if he'd stuck his hand in an electrical outlet.

"Who are you calling an 'Amazon' pal?!" asked Calhoun, before ceasing the tasing.

"Really TJ, is that necessary?" asked Ralph. 

"You bet your rear it's necessary Ralph!" said Sergeant TJ Calhoun of Hero's Duty, the Deputy of the Arcade Sheriff's office. "You saw what he tried to do out there!"

"I got things under control, besides the guy is new to the arcade." said Kratos. "It's his first day, and I heard Tails say he's a FD, so why not cut the guy some slack eh?"

"I'll be the one who cuts anyone any slack around here!" said a teen-like voice with a southern drawl.

Ralph and TJ turned around, and saw the owner of the voice enter the Sheriff's office, which had doors like that of a Western Saloon. The figure was pint-sized in actual height, much like the characters of Sugar Rush, but wore an oversized orange ten-gallon hat to overcompensate for his lack of stature. His face was round and child-like, with large eyes and rosy cheeks, and he wore a Wild West sheriff's outfit, complete with gun and boots.

"Glad you made it Sheriff." said TJ Calhoun. "He was getting out of hand, but I have him under control now."

"Good work deputy." said the Sheriff, as he moseyed over to Kratos' holding cell. "You sure caused quite a ruckus in Game Central Station fella!"

"Bah!" Kratos replied. "I was simply protecting my realm and driving a demonic, flying hellhound from it!"

The Sheriff looked at Calhoun and Ralph.

"Code FD." they both said in unison.

"Oh I gotcha, you must be the main character from that new game, that God of War Ultimate Collection fella." said the Sheriff. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Sheriff Kip Tumbleweed, and you're in my game, Tarantula Tim's Wild West Shootout. Now I'm not only Sheriff 'round these parts, but Sheriff of the entire arcade as well. Seems to me you got yourself some charges and a date with the judge."

"Speak sense tiny sheriff!" said Kratos. "What is this Ultimate Collection you seek?! I do not have any Ultimate Collection! And which of the 3 judges would you have me go before; Aeacus, Minos, or Rhadamanthus?!"

Sheriff Tumbleweed raised an eyebrow at Kratos, clearly agreeing with Ralph and TJ's assessment. The Sheriff then turned back to a desk in the office, which was occupied by a green-colored mallard duck, recognizable from the arcade game Nintendo Duck Hunt.

"Paula" said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "How many hours until the arcade opens for business?"

"Exactly 7." replied Paula.

"Right." said the Sheriff. "Go ahead and put a call out to the doctor so we can give this fella a once-over before he goes in front of the judge, and try to get someone from his game will ya?"

"Yes sir." said Paula, who answered a ringing phone just as she was about to pick it up. "Sheriff Tumbleweed's office, how can I help you?"

The caller on the other end proceeded to speak.

"It's Tapper's." said Paula with a roll of her eyes. "Guess who they're calling about again?"

"Why that mangy cur!" said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "I swear I'm gonna make a permanent kennel for that pain in the rear!"

"Hey Sheriff no worries, let me go and talk to him." said Ralph. "He's my roommate after all."

"Much obliged Ralph, much obliged." said Sheriff Tumbleweed.

"OK, I'm on my way." said Ralph as he got up, turning to Kratos' cell before leaving. "It was good meeting you Kratos, you seem like a really good bad guy. I'll come back to check on you, and welcome to Litwaks."

Looking angry, Kratos simply looked on at Ralph, confused beyond measure at the series of events that have taken place thus far.

"Um….thank you….goodbye?" said Kratos, really not knowing what else to say.

Ralph smiled and waved on his way out, forgetting to duck and broke the brickwork above the Sheriff's Office doorway. Ralph continued walking, not feeling a thing and continued on like nothing happened.

"Darnit!" said the Sheriff. "That's the 8th time he's done that! What's so hard about ducking?"

"EXCUSE me?!" said Paula, seeming offended.

"Oh, sorry honey." said the Sheriff, correcting himself. "What's so hard about him minding his head?"

Paula seemed satisfied with the answer, and went back to her work making calls.

Meanwhile, Fix-It Felix Jr. walked through the saloon doors, brandishing a freshly baked Nicelander pie.

"Hi honey!" said Felix. "Hope you had a good day!"

"Awww, Nicelander Cobbler, my favorite!" said TJ Calhoun, bending down to kiss her husband. "Well Sheriff, that's the end of my shift, so if you don't need me for anything else Felix and I have a date night before turning in for the evening."

"Oh yes, go right ahead TJ." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "Thanks for your help, great job as always."

Sheriff Tumbleweed turned to Kratos, who was sitting on the bed of his cell, looking angry.

"Well then partner, if you want to get back to your game, best thing you can do is be on your best behavior from here on out." said Sheriff Tumbleweed in a friendly tone.

"I want nothing from you or your realm." said Kratos. "I simply want to resume my quest for vengeance!"

The Sheriff smiled, and started walking towards Kratos' cell. Once he was at the cell, he looked up at Kratos with a grim, threatening look on his face.

"Now you listen reeeeeaaaally carefully son." said the Sheriff in a soft yet icy voice, low enough where Paula could not hear. "I don't care if you are new, I run a tight clean ship, and NO ONE makes trouble in MY arcade. So you better not step on my toes, or you'll find yourself in a maximum security Legend of Zelda prison….or get your whole game unplugged for good. You understand me boy?"

Kratos simply stared back at the Sheriff, not breaking eye contact for one second. After a brief staredown, Paula interrupted them.

"Sheriff, the doctor is here." said Paula. "And I have an officer dispatched to bring someone from his game."

"Well that's dandy!" said the Sheriff, turning away and looking chipper as ever. "Thanks for coming on such short notice doc, I'll leave you 2 be while I make my final beat rounds."

The Sheriff greeted the doctor and walked out the jailhouse.

"Vell zen, you must be Kratos." said a gruff gravelly voice, which was owned by someone in the shadows in front of the door.

"Who are YOU?" asked Kratos.

The small figure stepped forward, and Kratos could see an elderly white man, wearing a labcoat, a light purple button-down shirt with an orange tie, khaki pants, and the man had wild gray hair upon his balding head, and a wild, bushy gray moustache.

"Very pleased to meet you Kratos." said the man. "My name eez Dr. Wily, and I come from zee game Mega Man. I may be a villain, but have no fear, for I abide by zee same Hippoclatic Oas for zee good guys, as vell as the bad guys. I underschtand you are tloubled, und I am here to help you."

"If that is the case, then release me." said Kratos.

"I'm aflaid I do not have zat authority, not before you see zee judge." said Dr. Wily. "However, zimply talk to me, answer my questions to zee best of your ability, und I vill do everysing I can to see zat you be freed post haste!"

"Very well then." said Kratos with a sigh. "I see no other options." 

"Wunderbar!" said Dr. Wily. "Now, I musct enter your cell to schpeak to you. Please do not try to eschcape, ozervise it vill make mattels much vorse for your case. Can I truscht you not to flee?"

Kratos nodded.

"Exchellent!" said Dr. Wily. "Paula, zee cell door please."

Paula nodded, The jail cell opened, and Dr. Wily walked in, dragging one of the office chairs with him. Kratos stayed where he was, complying with Dr. Wily's directives, and the cell door closed them both in.

"Sank you Kratos, for you covopperation!" said Dr. Wily. "Now zen, please lie down on your cell cot, and I vill talk to you from zis chair."

Kratos did as he was told, playing along for the moment, not really sure how this would lead to him becoming free.

Dr. Wily took out a pencil and notepad, as well as a pocket tape recorder, which he turned on to record, and held up to his face.

""Dr. Albert W. Wily, OBE PhD, on zee 5th of June, at Scheven AM." said Dr. Wily into the recorder. "Cunducting one zykological evaluation on zubject named Kratos, un prisoner at Litvak's Arcade. Let us schtart…."

Dr. Wily set down the tape recorder, still on record, picked up his pencil and notepad, and proceeded to evaluate Kratos.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"Thanks for coming Ralph." said Tapper. "He's really gotten himself into a fit this time!"

"Sure, no problem Tapper." said Ralph. "Let me guess, barstool on the very end, with very few patrons?"

"You got it." said Tapper.

Ralph walked to the end of the bar, following the sound of a high-pitched, electronic giggling noise, followed by annoyed patrons getting up and leaving. When Ralph finally made it to the last barstool, he saw his roommate there.

"Dog…"said Ralph, an annoyed tone in his voice. "This is the 4th time this week."

"I know Ralph, I know." said Dog in his southern drawl, speaking in between giggles. "It's just…after so much root beer, I can't stop the gigglin! It's my trademark after all, it's all I have left."

Dog, the hunting dog from Nintendo's Duck Hunt, had the unfortunate experience of having the plug pulled on his game due to unrepairable malfunctions. Since then, Dog had a difficult time adjusting, especially since the ducks from the game seemed to have no problem finding a new place and gainful employment within the arcade community. As for Dog, he wandered about the various games until being kicked out, and Wreck-It Ralph felt sorry for him, and set him up in the surrounding villages outside Niceland Apartments built for characters whose games have been unplugged. After complaints from the neighbors about his giggling, both controllable and uncontrollable, Ralph decided Dog could move in with him until something better came along. So far, it had been less than a week, and Dog was already getting on Ralph's nerves, although Ralph made a point to not show it and exhibit compassion for the less fortunate instead.

"Come on buddy, let's just get you home." said Ralph. "Have you seen Dr. Wily lately?"

"Well sure I have!" said Dog, giggling and crying at the same time as the two walked home. "The doc said it's up to me in the end to reign in control, and when I least expect it, it should come naturally."

"OK, that's a good start." said Ralph. "Have you been going to NPC-Anon?"

"Yes I have, but I'm not so sure how well it's helpin." said Dog. "Don't get me wrong, there's lots of nice folks at those meets, they just seem to keep preaching the same messages over and over 'gain; 'significance through insignificance', 'without you there is no world', 'embrace your fleeting role'. I just don't know Ralph, maybe I shoulda just stayed in my game when it got unplugged."

"Aw come on buddy, don't think like that." said Ralph. "I know it's been rough for you, and I know it's a hard adjustment, but they're right; your role may be small, but it's still important."

Dog paused for a moment, then sighed and shrugged.

"I guess you're right pal." said Dog. "I just can't see it yet."

"Who says you have to?" said Ralph. "Anyway, hang in there buddy, I won't give up on you. In the meantime…"

Ralph drew back his massive hand and gave Dog a swift pat on the back, causing Dog's eyes to bug out slightly, but Dog was unharmed. Immediately after the impact, Dog stopped giggling.

"Thank you Ralph, don't know how I'd made it without you my friend." said Dog.

"Hey, no worries buddy." said Ralph. "I know what it's like to not feel like you belong, but really, you do."

They continued their walk across Game Central Station, until they reached the Fix-It Felix, Jr. Terminal.

"Well, here's our stop." said Ralph. "Let's climb aboard."

"Now tell me Kratos." said Dr. Wily. "Vat are you exshactly?"

"Kratos, God of War, bringer of Chaos!" said Kratos.

"Go on." said Dr. Wily. "Are you human, or schomething elsch?"

"I used to be human." said Kratos. "But I became an immortal God of Olympus, after defeating the Olympian God of War, Ares, and then I destroyed all of Olympus once the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus proved deceitful and fasle."

"Hmmmm." said Dr. Wily. "Vhere eez your home?"

"Sparta." said Kratos. "Whether I am atop Olympus, or on the battlefield, Sparta is my one true home."

"Und where eez this 'Schpatra' you schpeak of?" asked Dr. Wily.

"In Greece." replied Kratos.

"Mmmmhmm, I schee." said Dr. Wily. "Vhat would you schay eez your earliest memory?"

"Are all the questions you ask me going to be this pointless?" asked Kratos.

"Please, humor me Kratos." asked Dr. Wily. "Your earliest memory?"

Kratos thought for a moment, and then proceeded with his answer.

"I remember nothing of any childhood." said Kratos. "Although, I did have a mother, Callisto. But all I really remember is her name. My earliest, most earliest, memory, is myself as an adult, flames behind me flaring before disappearing, and then myself saying 'The Gods of Olympus have abandoned me.', before looking down from a tremendous mountainside, then jumping."

"Veddy intelesting." said Dr. Wily, scribbling on his notepad. "Would you conschider yourschelf un gut guy, or un bat guy?"

"Repeat the question, I do not understand." said Kratos.

"Ach, mein apologies Kratos!" said Dr. Wily. "Sometimes mein accscent eez difficult to underschtand. Do you conschider yourself gut, or evil?"

Kratos paused, and for the first time, was unable to answer a question brought before him. He'd done many evil things in his lifetime, both as a god and as a mortal, but did it truly make him evil? Then again, the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus did many deeds which could be considered evil, whereas he did many deeds which could be considered good.

"I….don't know." said Kratos.

"Really?" asked Dr. Wily, scribbling on his notepad. "Intelesting, very, very intelesting"

"What's so interesting about it?" asked Kratos, somewhat defensively.

"Oh nothing, nothing mein dear boy!" replied Dr. Wily dismissively. "It is just, mozt characters I come across have schome sort of identity of gut or bat, und you are zee first I've come across without one. It does not mean anysing bat necessarily, I zimply find it intelesting."

"What do you mean by 'character'?" asked Kratos, even more defensively. "Are you trying to say I'm insane?"

"Nein! Not at all dear boy!" said Dr. Wily. "I'm zimply inveschtigating who das Kratos is, und where you fit in your game."

"Game, what GAME?!" asked Kratos angrily. "Why does everyone in this realm speak of games?!"

Dr. Wily paused, and shook his head.

"Tsk tsk tsk, it is just as I und the people you came unto contact mit suspected." Said Dr. Wily. "You are vhat ve call, un 'Code FD', meaning you are 'Factory Direct', unt have neber been played until now. Jah, it all makes perfect sense, und you my freund are a textbook case."

"What in the name of Olympus is a 'factory'?!" asked Kratos.

"Vell, let me exschplain it simply, und I don't expect for you to accept all of zis at vonce." said Dr. Wily. "You see, vee are all characters from video games, und exist together in a building full auf video games called und arcade. Ve travel back und forth between the other games, but only zee game we originated from is truly our home, und abandoning it can lead to catastrophic consequences. Ven vee first come from zee factory, vee think that vee ARE nothing more zan the character ve play over und over in the game, however ve are much more than that; zere is life outside our game. Zee things zat happen to us in the gameplay mode area already pre-programmed, und vhile ve may have our back story, zee rest is up to us to create outzide our gameplay mode. You zee vhat I mean?"

Kratos stared blankly at Dr. Wily, thinking if this day got any more weirder, he would prefer to go back to the sequence where he impaled himself upon the Blade of Olympus.

"Like I said, very complicated." said Dr. Wily. "Und in time, you vill adjust und see vhat I mean. All you need iz some educazion und acclimaschan, und you vill be a productive citizen of Litvak's Arcade in no time!"

Dr. Wily exited the cell, and took a seat at one of the empty desks, where he furiously wrote down his notes. As he was finishing, he saw the saloon doors open, and the Sheriff came through with two figures; one was a short, white-skinned figure with black hair and a beard, wearing a blue medieval-like outfit, and the other was a very tall figure in a white toga, with bronze, winged boots, and fiery blonde hair.

"Well Kratos, if you weren't so vital to our game, I would leave you to rot here." said the tall figure.

"Ah, just in time for me to deliver mein official medical opinion." said Dr. Wily, offering his paperwork to the taller figure. "Und here you are, counselor."

"I'm not his lawyer." said the taller figure. "I'm Hermes, and our game's code designated me Game Guide to the rest of the players in the game"

"Ach!" said Dr. Wily in disgust. "You should be ashament of yourself! Had you done your duty, Kratos vould not be in zis predicament!"

Dr. Wily turned to the smaller figure.

"Und I take it you are Kratos' lawyer?" asked Dr. Wily.

"I am." said the smaller figure on the other side of the Sheriff. "I am Error, Public Defender."

"Schplendid!" said Dr. Wily. "Mein vork here is done! Kratos will be OK after ein bit of educazion und acclimaschan, und if zee judge has any questions, he may call me. Auf Wiedersein!"

Dr. Wily handed his paperwork to Error, and exited out the saloon doors.

"He's all yours boys." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "You best be careful now, I don't trust his type."

"Thank you Sheriff." said Error dismissively, walking nonchalantly towards Kratos' cell.

"Um, Error." said Hermes. "I should probably warn you that we are a 'Rated M for Mature' game, for the older generations that come into the arcade, and Kratos will not think twice before disemboweling you right at the waistline."

"Riiiiiiight." said Error. "OK, I won't get too close."

"Good idea." said Hermes.

Error walked until he was about 3 feet away from Kratos' cell door.

"Hello, Kratos." said Error. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Error. I'm from Zelda II: The Adventures of Link; a bit of a long game for an arcade, but we get hardcore regulars by the day so it works out. Anyway, I'm the Public Defender for the Arcade Court, and I'll be defending you. Let's see what they've charged you with."

Error put on reading glasses, and looked into his portfolio.

"Reckless Endangerment…" started Error. "Attempted Non-Gameplay Assault, Attempted Non-Gameplay Assault on an Arcade Official, Deploying of Primary Weapons in Public Without a Permit, Threatening Behavior in a Non-Gameplay Area, Disruption of Inter-Game Transportation Schedule, Disturbing the Peace, and…Public Nuisance."

"Nice going Kratos." said Hermes. "Way to welcome us into the fold."

"Be silent Olympian!" said Kratos.

"Now, I know it sounds pretty terrible, but here's the good news." said Error. "I have Dr. Wily's recommendation here, and by presenting an 'Unprogrammed' plea, you will be just fine. You'll need a little education to bring you up to speed, the judge may even have you do some rehabilitative work, but overall you should be golden."

Kratos sighed, half of him wanting to tear both this "Error" and Hermes apart, and the other half simply thinking…."whatever".

"When shall I be tried by this great judge?" asked Kratos wearily.

"So glad you asked." said Error. "It'll take place…right now."

The cell door opened, and Kratos' eyes perked up, contemplating escape for a brief moment.

"Don't even think of making a run for it boy." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "In fact, I take that back, PLEASE try to make a run for it, I'd love to see that!"

"That'll be enough Sheriff!" said Error, then turning back to Kratos. "Don't listen to him. We do have to proceed to the court. They don't have one in this game, so we'll have to go to 'Ghostbusters', and the rest of the assembly will meet us there. Your shackles will still remain, and based on your history you will require an escort, however as long as you behave no harm will come to you. Sound fair enough?"

"I suppose there's nothing I can do about it in this realm." said Kratos.

"Excellent." said Error. "Just follow Hermes and I, we'll show you the rest of the way."

Kratos followed behind Error and Hermes, as they walked out of the Sheriff's station. Before they exited, a gruff, aggressive sounding voice spoke from behind Kratos.

"Play nice with me, I'll play nice with you." said the voice smoothly. "Play mean with me, and I'll end you."

"Oh don't mind him." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "That's just Wild Dog from Time Crisis, one of my special operatives I use for cases…like yours."

"Whoever you are 'sher-rif tum-ball-weed'." said Kratos. "I have not liked your tone from the beginning, and pity you should you cross me."

"Was that a threat?" asked Wild Dog.

"No not at all." piped in Error. "My client has nothing more to say, DO YOU?!"

Kratos remained silent, and he, Error, Hermes and Wild Dog moved along to Game Central Station, until they reached the terminal for Ghostbusters, and hopped aboard the tram, all except for Wild Dog, whose job was only to accompany them to the tram.

Once they entered the game, the 3 of them took an elevator, with Error pressing a button which read "COURTROOM", and up they went.

When they arrived, Error motioned for Kratos to sit down in a desk in front of the judges' chair, with Hermes right beside him. Kratos looked at the bailiff, who appeared to be some sort of turtle humanoid.

"Welcome to the Arcade Court dude!" said the bailiff. "I'm Michelangelo, from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game. The judge should be by here any minute bro, so feel free to relax."

"That is not my broth…" started Kratos, but Error put a hand to his mouth.

"Take it easy Kratos." said Error. "He's a good guy, and 'bro' is a compliment; doesn't mean your brothers, it just means he respects you."

The expression on Kratos' face calmed, and he sat down in the chair. It wasn't long before the court was called to order.

"Like, dudes and dudettes, all rise for the Honorable Judge, King Hippo of Nintendo's Punch Out." said Michelangelo.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Everyone in the Ghostbusters courtroom stood up, and Error motioned for Kratos to stand, which he did. There was a great rumbling of the ground all around them, and Kratos reached for his blades, only to find he could not summon them.

"Don't!" said Error. "That's not going to look good for your case, and besides you can't summon weapons in court! It's just the judge coming in."

From the judge's chambers entered an enormous figure, which Kratos mistook for a Cyclops at first, until he noticed the figure's two black eyes. This was King Hippo.

Kratos deduced the massive king to be human, although of massive size and obesity; absent a judge's robe, King Hippo wore a crown atop its head, two purple gloves upon its hands, and shiny, orange and pink pants, with a bandage of some sort upon its navel.

King Hippo sat down, amazingly fitting inside the judge's bench, save for his massive love handles which protruded from each side of the bench. Michelangelo, the ninja turtle bailiff, walked over and handed a case file to the judge.

"Like, this is Case Number 326 on account in the matter of Litwaks Arcade Community vs. Kratos." said Michelangelo, handing the case file to the judge.

"Thank you Michelangelo." said King Hippo.

"You're welcome dude, I mean, Your Majesty, I mean, Your Honor." replied Michelangelo, who then turned to address the court. "Parties have been sworn in Your Honor, you may all be seated."

King Hippo broke out a tiny pair of reading glasses, eyeballing the case file before addressing the court.

"Counselors, your name and home games for the record please." requested King Hippo.

The first voice to answer was to the right of Kratos, and sounded like a grinding growl being dragged through flames. The voice had an even more terrifying owner to match its ferocity.

"True Ogre, Tekken 3, for the Prosecution Your Honor." said True Ogre.

Kratos sneered in the True Ogre's direction, mistaking it for an enemy from his own game for a moment. This Prosecuting Attorney was an enormous beast, with greenish-black, sleek scaly skin, his right hand comprised of 7 hissing serpents, glowing yellow eyes, massive gargoyle-like wings, a hairy mane, and four terrifying fangs.

True Ogre glanced over in Kratos' direction, catching the sneer, but Error quickly held up a dismissive hand to let him know there wasn't a problem.

"Counsel for the Defense?" said King Hippo, somewhat impatiently.

"Error, Zelda II: The Adventures of Link, for the Defendant Your Honor." said Error.

"Thank you Counselors." said King Hippo, turning in Kratos' direction. "Defendant, please state your name and home game for the record."

'That's you.' whispered Error. 'Just your name.'

"I am Kratos, God of War, Ghost of Sparta…" started Kratos.

"Thank you, your first name will suffice." said King Hippo, cutting Kratos off. "Your home game please?"

Kratos opened his mouth to speak, but had a puzzled look upon his face.

"S-sparta?" asked Kratos.

"'S-sparta'?" asked King Hippo, even more confused. "There is no such game on register in the arcade."

"Please excuse my client your honor." said Error. "My client's home game is God of War Ultimate Collection, Sparta is simply a world within the game. With your permission Your Honor, and due to the nature of my client's plea, I feel it would be in my client's best interest if I confer with him before any questions are answered."

"Granted." said King Hippo, turning towards the left side of his bench. "Would the Clerk of the Court, Toad of Mario party, please read the charges against the accused?"

Sitting behind a court stenography machine and typing away, a tiny man with a white and red mushroom cap for a head, stood to read what he had typed out.

"One count of Reckless Endangerment," said Toad. "One count of attempted Non-Gameplay Assault, one count of attempted Non-Gameplay Assault on an Arcade Official, 3 counts of Deploying of Primary Weapons in Public Without a Permit, 4 counts of threatening Behavior in a Non-Gameplay Area, one count of Disruption of Inter-Game Transportation Schedule, one count of Disturbing the Peace, one count of Public Nuisance, and…..one count of Littering."

Error and Kratos looked at each other, both seeming surprised at the last charge.

"Someone threw a banana peel at me, and I simply threw it at that Tails creature." said Kratos to Error.

King Hippo struck his gavel.

"Order!" demanded King Hippo, turning towards Kratos with a stern look on his face. "Kratos, how do you plead to these charges?"

Error and Kratos huddled for a moment, quietly discussing the question.

"Your Honor, I plead not guilty to all charges, by reason of diminished responsibility." stated Kratos almost automatically.

"The court accepts your plea of not guilty on all counts by reason of diminished responsibility." said King Hippo, turning to True Ogre. "How does the Prosecution wish to proceed?"

"The Prosecution waives its right to present its case first, and defers to the Defense to provide grounds and evidence of such a plea." said True Ogre.

"Accepted." said Error. "The grounds for diminished responsibility are the Defendant being of a Factory Direct status, uneducated and unaware of his responsibilities and role in the arcade community. I would like to submit into evidence a psychiatric evaluation from Dr. Wily of Mega-Man, which supports this diagnosis."

Error handed the file to Michelangelo, who in turn handed it to King Hippo.

"Objection Your Honor!" growled True Ogre. "The Prosecution has not had sufficient time to examine these materials."

"Hold your tongue, stinking Minotaur!" snapped Kratos at True Ogre.

"WHAT did you just call me?!" growled True Ogre.

"Kratos PLEASE! QUIET!" said Error, jumping in the middle of them.

King Hippo banged his gavel down until the courtroom became quiet.

"Kratos, any more nonsense out of you like that and I'll slam you with Contempt of Court!" asserted King Hippo.

"I'd like to see you.." started Kratos.

Error slapped a hand across Kratos' mouth before he could even finish.

"Please strike that last remark from the record Clerk!" said Error. "My client has nothing more to say at this time!"

"As to your objection Counselor True Ogre, it is sustained." said King Hippo. "Counselor Error, the Prosecution must be allowed to review these records prior to submission into court."

"Would it please the Prosecution if these records were reviewed in your private chambers under your supervision?" asked Error. "Furthermore, I have with me Hermes, also from Ultimate God of War Collection, Game Guide for the game, whom I wished to submit as a witness."

Hermes stood as he was addressed.

"Thank you, please be seated." said King Hippo. "Counselor True Ogre, any objection to the Defense's proposal?"

Thinking for a moment, while glaring angrily at Kratos, True Ogre looked as though he might decline the thought.

"No objection your honor." said True Ogre.

"Thank you Counselor True Ogre." said Error, turning back to King Hippo. "I hereby request to review these proceedings in Your Honor's private chambers, and motion for a summary judgment if both the Prosecution and Defense agrees on the facts after sufficient review."

"Request and motion granted." said King Hippo. "I want both Counselors, and the Defense's witness, in my chambers immediately. Bailiff, please remain with the accused until our return. This court is now in recess, and will resume in 1 hour."

King Hippo struck his gavel, and everyone stood as he left the bench, barely. Michelangelo led Error, True Ogre and Hermes onto the courtroom floor, and they followed King Hippo into the judge's chambers. Michelangelo then returned where Kratos was seated.

"Looks like you'll need to chill for a bit dude." said Michelangelo. "Shouldn't be too much longer. Say, you hungry?"

Kratos, having had one of the most confusing and stressful days in his existence, did not hesitate to answer.

"I am starving!" replied Kratos.

"Hey, no worries bro, I know just the thing!" said Michelangelo, picking up a cell phone. "Yo, Donatello bro, it's Mikey! Can you whip up one of your Ninja Turtle Supremes pronto? Thanks bro, I owe you!"

Michelangelo hung up the phone, turning his attention back to Kratos.

"Never fear buddy, munchies are on the way!" said Michelangelo.

"Thank you." said Kratos gratefully.

"I see you're making friends already." said a familiar voice from behind Kratos.

Kratos turned around, and saw Wreck-It Ralph sitting in the court spectators' chairs, with silly-looking dog sitting next to him.

"Ralph….Wretched Ralph, is it?" asked Kratos.

"Close, it's actually 'Wreck-It' Ralph, but you can just call me Ralph." said Ralph with a chuckle. "Just came by to see how things were going for you."

"My fate remains uncertain Wretched Ralph." said Kratos sullenly.

"It's 'Wre..', nevermind, you'll get it eventually." said Ralph. "Anyway, hang in there buddy. I understand the rap us bad guys get, but believe me it gets better. Bad guys, good guys, NPCs, we're all just digital beings at the end of the day."

Still not trusting of these new surroundings just yet, and not making sense of most of what was taking place, still Kratos appreciated Ralph's kindness.

"Thank you, Wretched Ralph." said Kratos sincerely.

"Anytime pal, you'll get through this, I know you will." said Ralph encouragingly.

"It's true, I AM a bad guy?" asked Kratos.

"Maybe when you get settled in, you might consider joining the Bad Guys Baseball Team." said Wreck-It Ralph. "We play in Super Baseball Double Play Home Run Derby on Tuesday nights after the arcade closes."

"Baseball?" said Kratos.

About that time, a door opened, and a turtle that resembled Michelangelo walked in the room, carrying a large pizza in his hand. Although this turtle had a red headband.

"Raphael bro, thanks for coming by in a pinch!" said Michelangelo.

"No problem, but next time you're bringing the pizza when I'M at work next." said Raphael, before leaving.

Michelangelo opened the pizza box, taking out a slice, and then offered the remaining box to Kratos, Ralph and Dog.

"Help yourself dudes!" said Michelangelo. "Power-up pizza pie from Donatello's kitchen, straight from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"Thanks Mikey." said Ralph, taking a couple slices and then handing a slice to Dog.

"Y'all are too good to me, you really are." said Dog.

"Don't be shy Kratos, help yourself." said Michelangelo.

Kratos took a slice, sniffing it, and took a bite. After chewing for a moment, a pleased and satisfied look crossed Kratos' face.

"This…'piece of pi'.., like the letter pi?" Kratos began to ask.

"No no dude, piz-za pie." said Michelangelo saying it phoenetically. "It's all I ever eat. Bodacious isn't it?"

"This 'pizza pie'," said Kratos. "Is great beyond Olympic proportions."

Michelangelo, Ralph and Dog all looked at each other, confused.

"It's bodacious!" said Kratos, hungrily stuffing his face. "Thank you, Michelangelo!"

"Anytime dude!" said Mikey.

Just as Kratos began finishing up the pizza, the court recess had ended, and the rest of the spectators began filing back into the courtroom. Once everyone was back, Michelangelo motioned for everyone to rise, and Kratos put the pizza box down. Error, Hermes and True Ogre exited the judge's chambers first, and went back to their respective places to stand. True Ogre glared and softly growled at Kratos, but Kratos simply ignored him, feeling better after having bonded with Michelangelo, Dog and Ralph.

King Hippo entered the courtroom, and sat down on the judge's bench. Michelangelo gave the OK for everyone to sit, and then King Hippo got back down to business.

"Kratos of God of War Ultimate Collection." said King Hippo. "After careful consideration and input from both the Prosecution and Your Defense, I have come to a conclusion. The charges of which you are accused of are very serious indeed, which will not be tolerated in this arcade community. However, given the nature of your character, Dr. Wily's psychiatric evaluation provided to me by the Defense, and your Factory Direct classification, I cannot hold you responsible for these infractions at this time."

Before continuing to address Kratos, King Hippo pointed one of his gloves in Hermes' direction, who looked surprised.

"HERMES, of God of War Ultimate Collection." said King Hippo in a stern voice. "You, as Game Guide for God of War Ultimate Collection, have a responsibility to orient and educate your fellow game peers, be they heroes, villains or NPC characters, in your home game, and you have been instilled with the knowledge and ability to do so, is this correct?"

"That is correct Your Honor." said Hermes.

"This Court finds you derelict in your duties as Game Guide, particularly so because you failed to proactively orient THE most important character in your entire game!" said King Hippo. "Had you executed your duties in a timely fashion, perhaps Kratos would have been better prepared for his welcome orientation to the arcade, and these disturbances would not have taken place. Therefore, this court fines your game 5,000 bonus points, plus 2,000 bonus points per charge against Kratos for a total of 35,000 bonus points in fines, sentences you to 1 month of arcade community service, and hereby issues an order that complete Game Guide orientation for Ultimate God of War Collection, be administered to Kratos by you upon the next closing time for the arcade, under threat of further penalties."

Hermes gulped but maintained his composure.

"I understand Your Honor, and will fully comply." said Hermes, sounding somewhat defeated.

"See that you do." said King Hippo, turning back to Kratos and continuing to speak sternly. "As for you Kratos, this court finds you not guilty of all charges, by means of diminished responsibility; however, this does not mean you are getting off easily. Before re-entering the arcade community outside your home game, I hereby declare that you must show proof of completion of your Game Guide orientation as administered by Hermes, and once that is completed you have until 2 arcade closings to complete the arcade community orientation as required for all new games and their characters. Furthermore, I shall require you complete at least 4 hours of Bad-Anon Meetings, that you attain a Bad-Anon Sponsor, and if none of the members there are willing to volunteer, the court will appoint one for you."

Wreck-It Ralph was about to speak up, but before he could, a voice from the spectators spoke up first.

"Volunteer for sponsor!" said the voice, which sounded halfway like a groan and a growl mixed together while trying to speak. "I will sponsor!"

"Please approach the bench sir." asked King Hippo.

The owner of the voice stepped forward, walking in a slumped over, dragging fashion. Kratos looked at the voice's owner, and saw that it was some manner of reanimated corpse, as he'd seen in his gameplays, although this one looked different. It worn torn clothing from a different time era, had a slack jaw which hung, and was bald except for the sides of its head.

Michelangelo let the spectator inside the bench area, and the corpse stood, or rather slumped, before the court.

"Please state your name and home game for the record." said King Hippo.

"Zombie, Bad Guy." said Zombie. "House of the Dead 2. Member, Bad-Anon, I can sponsor."

"Then it's settled." said King Hippo with a smile. "Congratulations Kratos, say hello to your new sponsor!"

"Kratos, hello!" croaked Zombie in a friendly tone.

"Hello." said Kratos, fighting his naturally-programmed instincts not to attack this zombie, as he had the others in his game.

"Please be advised Kratos, that any further infractions against this arcade community because of ANY violent or dangerous behavior on your part, will not be tolerated." said King Hippo. "Should you create any further trouble within this community, the consequences will be dire, do you understand."

Error motioned for Kratos to respond.

"I understand Your Honor." said Kratos. "I will obey your commands."

"This is my official sentence, court is adjourned." said King Hippo, banging the gavel. "Goodnight everyone, hopefully you can all get some sleep before the opening of the arcade."

The court filed out, and Error shook Kratos' hand.

"You know where to find me if you need me." said Error. "Michelangelo here is going to see you to the door, where the Sheriff's Office will escort you back to your game."

"Follow me dude." said Michelangelo.

"Here, me and Dog will follow out with you." said Wreck-It Ralph. "We gotta get back to Fix-it Felix, Jr. anyway."

"OK by me bro." said Michelangelo.

Michelangelo escorted Kratos and Hermes to the courtroom doors, followed by Wreck-It Ralph and Dog, where the pint-sized Sheriff Kip Tumbleweed was waiting for him, along with Wild Dog, who grinned and cracked his knuckles in anticipation.

"Well well well, looks like our friendly neighborhood psycho got off easy today." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "It's only a matter of time before you're behind bars again."

Dog growled at Sheriff Tumbleweed, never having gotten along with him.

"Better put a leash on that puppy." said Wild Dog to Ralph.

"And it looks like you found yourself a mongrel pet too." said Sheriff Tumbleweed.

"Oh come on Sheriff, these guys have been through enough." said Wreck-It Ralph. "Kratos said he's going to behave, and I got Dog under control earlier today as usual."

"Good ol' Ralph, such a big heart to go with those big fists." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "Anyway, behavior or not, he's still a danger until he completes his training, and he's coming with us."

"Feel like dancing, cupcake?" said Wild Dog with a sneer.

Kratos clearly was angered, but did his best to restrain himself.

"How about I escort these guys back to their games Sheriff." said Wreck-It Ralph, sensing Kratos' frustration. "I could even call up Deputy Calhoun if that'll make you feel better. I'm sure you've got lots of work to do still."

"No can do, a job's a job." said Wild Dog.

"I wasn't talking to you." said Ralph to Wild Dog, turning back to Sheriff Tumbleweed. "Look, I knocked this guy out before, I'll do it again if he causes any trouble, and I'll take full responsibility if anything goes wrong. What do you say?"

Sheriff Tumbleweed put a hand to his chin, thinking it over.

"C'mon Sheriff, everybody likes a friendly and flexible neighborhood official." said Wreck-It Ralph. "I sure know Vanellopie would be impressed by that."

At the sound of Vanellopie's name, Sheriff Tumbleweed's eyes perked up, then he rolled them and sighed.

"Okay, fine, take him." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "But anything goes wrong, and it's your hide."

"Of course, thank you Sheriff." said Wreck-It Ralph.

"And as for you Mister God-o-War." said Sheriff Tumbleweed, waggling a finger at Kratos. "One false move and you'll find yourself…"

"Whoa, look at the time!" said Wreck-It Ralph. "Looks like we better be off! Thanks again Sheriff."

Ralph and Dog escorted Hermes and Kratos hurriedly to the Terminal to Game Central Station, and soon they were buckled in and aboard the tram for Game Central Station.

"Sorry our Sheriff was less than hospitable to you." said Wreck-It Ralph to Kratos as they rode in the tram. "He's got a bit of a short man complex, and he's sore because he lost the Arcade Presidential Election to President Waluigi, and settled for a job as Sheriff."

"It is rather tempting to send him flying into the air with an Olympic Ascension." grumbled Kratos.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" cheered Dog, followed by his trademark giggle. "I like you already Kratos!"

"Enough of that type of talk Kratos." said Hermes. "Save your violence for gameplay."

"Fine, fine!" said Kratos, then turning to Wreck-It Ralph again. "And Ralph, what is a 'Vanellopie'?" 

"Oh yeah, Vanellopie von Schweetz, that's my best friend." said Ralph. "You'll get to meet her sometime, she's the top character in a game called Sugar Rush. I mentioned her name because the Sheriff has this creepy crush on her, but she's always shutting him down; sigh, 'tween characters."

"Heck, I haven't even met Miss Vanellopie yet." said Dog. "She sure sounds like a nice young lady."

"Her game is having its anniversary soon, I'll see if you guys can tag along." said Ralph, as the tram stopped at Game Central Station. "Here's our stop."

Once the tram came to a complete stop, Kratos and Hermes exited, followed by Wreck-It Ralph and Dog. Ralph escorted them to the God of War Ultimate Collection Terminal.

"This is your stop guys." said Ralph, as Hermes and Kratos entered the tram. "You both take care, and I hope to see you soon."

"Thank you for all your help Wreck-It Ralph." said Hermes. "And you too Dog, it is much appreciated."

"Hey, doin' what I can for gamekind." said Dog.

"Anytime, and welcome to the neighborhood." said Wreck-It Ralph. "Kratos, great meeting you, look forward to seeing you around the arcade, and at Bad-Anon."

Kratos nodded, slightly bowing his head in thanks.

"Thank you for all you've done, Dog, and Wretched Ralph." said Kratos. "The God of War is in both of your debt."

Ralph and Dog waved goodbye as the tram sped into God of War Ultimate Collection.

Once the tram stopped inside the game, Hermes and Kratos exited, and went their separate ways.

"Get some sleep Kratos, we don't have much time before the next gameplay." said Hermes. "And tomorrow, the real learning begins."

"Very well." said Kratos. "I bid you goodnight."

"Goodnight." said Hermes, walking away as Kratos entered his dwelling for the night. "Tomorrow, the real learning begins."

As Hermes said this last sentence, he said it in a low, groan-like voice, and rolled his eyes after saying it.

"Game Guide." said Hermes to himself. "Lucky me."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The arcade opened, and the crowd poured in.

Multitudes of games were played, except for God of War Ultimate Collection, which displayed a big "Out of Order" sign.

"So much for your 'big win' son." said Stan Litwak.

"Dad, relax!" said Wade, second-in-command and heir of Litwak's Arcade. "This game is probably overheated because it's gotten so many plays and quarters pumped into it in just a short time it's been here! The tech should be able to fix it in no time!"

"I sure hope so." said Stan Litwak. "Otherwise, it'll have to buy the farm…"

"I know, I know." said Wade, rolling his eyes. "Just like Great Nana!"

Kratos rolled over, feeling something poking at his biceps. He tried to swat whatever it was away, but it kept persisting.

"Rise and shine superstar!" said Hermes. "School is now in session!"

"It's too early!" said Kratos.

"Speak for yourself!" said Hermes. "All morning I've been up making sure EVERYONE in this game has been properly educated on their role, so we don't run into any further legal complications! I've created a temporary glitch to accomplish this, and now it's YOUR turn! I'm not leaving here until you come with me to get your court-appointed education! Now move!"

"Alright, ALRIGHT!" growled Kratos. "Let's get this over with!"

"That's more like it." said Hermes. "Follow me."

Kratos followed Hermes, until they came to a temple door in a nearby mountain.

"I don't remember this being here before." said Kratos.

"It doesn't matter." said Hermes. "Just follow me inside, and things will make sense."

Kratos did as he was told, following Hermes, who motioned to Kratos.

"Would you care to do the honors?" asked Hermes with a satisfactory grin.

"If I must." grumbled Kratos.

The door was a handle door, and Kratos, using his strength, lifted the door handle upward, opening the door for them both.

They both walked through the door, which closed promptly behind them. There was a throne made of skulls and images of war, and Hermes motioned towards the door.

"You're the guest of honor." said Hermes. "Time you took the seat of honor as well."

Shrugging, Kratos walked towards the throne, and sat down. As soon as he did, his arms were strapped in via the arm rests, and his legs were strapped in via the bottom of the throne. A helmet descended down upon Kratos head. Kratos began to struggle, but was promptly surged with green-colored electricity.

"Not that simple Kratos." said Hermes. "Your gameplay powers don't apply in this simulation. You may be the main character, but I'm the Game Guide. Now sit back, and enjoy the show."

Kratos remained still, and within the helmet that descended, there was a television screen. Static flickered among the screen, and then, Kratos found himself as if he were in a whole other environment. Virtual reality.

Looking around him, everything was black. Then, all of the sudden, a flash of pink-colored pixels materialized, which further materialized a tiny figure, no more than 3 feet tall, in front of him.

"Konnichi wa Kratos!" said the tiny figure.

"No, it's just plain Kratos!" said Kratos to the figure. "Who are you?!"

The figure that stood in front of him was the form of a young, Asian girl with pigtails, but with more of a technical twist. She wore a red outfit, a dress with a large letter M upon it, and a red square hat with a lightning bolt. Her eyes were brown and Manga-like, and her hair was black, in pigtails. She wore a flower in her black hair, and instead of human skin, her form was grid-like; purple background with pink-like gridlines.

"I mean, hello Kratos!" said the little digital girl. "My name is Mikata, and on behalf of Capcom and Sony Computer Entertainment, I am programmed to be your GameRole Professor. Welcome to God of War Ultimate Collection!"

"Hello." said Kratos with a sigh.

"Enough with the frumpy face!" said Mikata. "Today, you're going to learn ALL about your place in God of War Ultimate Collection, and by the time we are done, you will have the FULL understanding needed to participate at all parameters of your game. Let's get started, shall we?!"

Mikata extended her tiny hand to Kratos, and Kratos reluctantly grabbed it gently. As soon as he did, their world spiraled and he felt a downward falling and pulling sensation.

"Follow MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Mikata, the last word sounding almost identical to "weeeeeee".

Kratos found himself free-falling down into what seemed an endless abyss, its sides lined with colorful, digital streaks that ran the opposite direction he fell. Kratos yelled as he fell downward, gripping Mikata's hand tightly, but it had no effect on her.

"Don't worry Kratos!" said Mikata cheerfully. "Only a FEW HUNDRED LEAGUES to go and we'll be where we need to be!"

Mikata's reassurance did not help Kratos, who continued to yell as he fell downward.

After what seemed like hours, suddenly, the pull of gravity seemed to slow. Mikata had de-materialized from Kratos' hand, and he slowly started to float down, the gravity aligning him right-side up, and he landed softly on his feet.

The ground below him was gray-colored, and all around him was blackness. The only light in the room seemed to be on Kratos. Then, Mikata appeared in front of him, holding a wooden pointer, much like a teacher.

"School is now in session Kratos!" said Mikata, tapping her pointer in his direction.

In an instant, Mikata dematerialized again, and before Kratos could ask where she went, all around him were bright floodlights shining down on him. Kratos covered his face to stave off the brightness, and as the brightness subsided to normal levels, Kratos could see there were tv screens all around him, as if he were inside the middle of a jumbotron. Mikata's face filled the screens on all sides.

"The God of War game series." said Mikata, whose face disappeared and images from the God of War games appeared on the screen. "An action-adventure/problem solving, third person fixed cinematic view video game series, created by David Jaffe in 2005 for the Playstation platform. It was only released to arcade console for a rare time in 2014, and your console is one of only 5 in the world!"

Kratos watched as the scenes changed, eventually coming to an image of himself.

"The central character, and main gameplay character, is Kratos." said Mikata, then pointing in Kratos' direction. "That's you, so pay attention! Kratos is voiced by Terrence C. Carson, and motion-captured by both Joseph Gatt and Terrence C. Carson. Unlike the traditional armored Spartans and Greek warriors typically seen in today's media, David Jaffe specifically developed Kratos to have a more brutal, atypical look of both a Spartan and a God. It all begins with the first game in the series, God of War…"

Scenes from God of War unfold on the screen before Kratos' eyes.

"Pledging his service to the God of War, Ares, Spartan General Kratos manages to avoid death, and using the Blades of Chaos chained to him by Ares as part of his servitude, once again claim a bloody victory for Sparta. However, to avoid any distractions in Kratos' life, so that Kratos' service can be all about serving Ares, Ares tricks Kratos into brutally murdering his wife and daughter, their ashes bound to Kratos by an oracle, earning him the title Ghost of Sparta. After years of service to the Gods, Kratos is called upon by Athena, to vanquish Ares once and for all, a deed that Kratos willingly accepts to satiate his taste for revenge."

The screen shifted, and several figures appeared on the screen.

"These are Kratos' allies in God of War." said Mikata. "They aid him in his quest, and the ones highlighted in red are ones that Kratos, em, disposes of, after they have outlived their usefulness."

The screen did a close-up of each ally, both mortal and immortal, and there was a small description which gave their name, gender, race, species, their alliance, what level they appeared in, how they help Kratos, and who provides their voices.

Once Mikata had cycled through the allies, the screens refreshed, and a big treasure chest could be seen in the middle of all the screens.

"Now it's time for the GOODIEEEESS!" said Mikata excitedly.

The treasure chest opened on the screen, and an assortment of enticing-looking items filled the screen.

"Weapons, power-ups, orbs, special attacks, special items." said Mikata. "Everything Kratos needs to successfully complete his mission! Let's start with our weapons showcase!"

In a Vanna White fashion, Mikata showed off all of Kratos' weapons, both given and later earned. The description for the weapons described what it was, what it does, where to find it, and how powerful it is. She then moved onto power up items, such as gorgon eyes and phoenix feathers, with descriptions on what they were, how to find them, what they did, and how many were needed to achieve the end result. The same went for various colored orbs, special attacks such as Poseidon's Rage, and finally special items.

Once Mikata had gotten through "goodies" section, the screen shifted, and several ugly-looking characters surfaced among the screens.

"These are the enemies of Kratos." said Mikata. "These bad boys, and girls, will stop at nothing to rip Kratos limb from limb in his quest for revenge!"

Much like with the allies, the screens gave a closeup of each enemy after an initial lineup of featured enemies. The description that was present with them gave their name, gender, race, species, their alliance, what level they appeared in, what kind of attacks they perform, how Kratos can defeat them, and what rewards they yield.

"Followed shortly by them, you have…dun dun duuuuuuuun, the BOSSES!" said Mikata, clearing the screen, and featuring a lineup of the bosses, in chronological order.

Mikata allowed a short closeup of each boss, just like with the enemies and allies, their description formula the same as the enemies, and moved on to the next section.

"Now, it's time for arcade controls!" said Mikata, showing the joystick and buttons that appeared on the arcade console. "This, is how you make your moves in this game!"

Mikata explained all the basic controls, and basic actions such as lifting, opening doors and other things.

"Now Kratos, you're probably wondering how the rest of the story goes after you've heard the start, right?!" said Mikata. "Well, before we do that, now that' you've learned controls, it's time forrrrrrrr….COMBO ATTACKS!"

Mikata's outfit changed into army camouflage fatigues, and she wore a hat much like a drill sergeant. A whistle appeared around her neck, and she had a stern look on her face.

"Alright maggot!" said Mikata in her toughest drill-sergeant voice. "Before we go any further, you are going to successfully perform each and every combo in God of War, is that clear?!"

"Very well, let's get it over with!" said Kratos.

"Let's get it over with, MA'AM!" barked Mikata.

"I am NOT a ma'am!" said Kratos. "I am Kratos, God of War!"

"Not yet, we haven't even gotten to that part of the story yet maggot!" said Mikata, blowing her whistle. "Until then, you're mine, and you are exactly what I say you are! Do I make myself clear?! The next words I hear out of your mouth better be 'Ma'am yes ma'am', is that understood?!"

"Ma'am yes ma'am." said Kratos, rolling his eyes.

"Once again soldier, with respect, and GUSTO!" ordered Mikata.

"MA'AM YES MA'AM!" bellowed Kratos.

"That's more like it!" said Mikata. "Watch the screen, maggot!"

The screens displayed Kratos executing a Vicious combo from God of War, with instructions on how to do so. When the tutorial ended, Mikata turned back to Kratos.

"Now drop and give me 20….Vicious combos!" ordered Mikata. "You will not proceed to the next level until you have performed every combo successfully and to my satisfaction!"

Kratos did as he was told, and executed 20 Vicious combos; well, technically 32, but 20 of the 32 were correct. Mikata and Kratos moved on from combo to combo, making sure Kratos did every one right at least once before he could move on to the next.

When they finally completed all the combos in God of War, Kratos was panting, and Mikata gave him a slow clap.

"Very good Kratos!" said Mikata. "And now, the rest of the God of War story! You may sit down!"

Kratos willingly took a seat, crossing his legs, and listened. Mikata's outfit had changed from drill sergeant, to a Mother Goose like bonnet and dress, and she opened up what appeared to be a big, leatherbound childrens storybook, and in childish letters on the front it had "God of War".

"Well, once Kratos began on his mission…." started Mikata in a sweet, storybook voice.

Mikata read Kratos the story, and the scenes unfolded on the screens behind him. Mikata gave a detailed account, until the very end.

"And that's how Kratos became the new God of War!" said Mikata. "The End!"

"Is that all then?" asked Kratos.

"Oh no no no Kratos!" said Mikata, in her sickeningly-sweet tone. "Now we get to have ALL the same fun we did before, with God of War 2! Isn't that great?!"

Kratos rolled his eyes and sighed and exasperated sigh.

From the games introduction, through the informative tutorials and showcases, to the final revelation of what happens at the very end of the games, Mikata went through every single game within the God of War Ultimate Collection with Kratos. By now, Kratos was panting heavily, and was about to faint from fatigue, after performing every single combo in God of War, God of War II, God of War III, and God of War: Ascension.

"What's…wrong…with…me?" panted Kratos. "Why…am…I..so..tired?"

"It's the first time you've cycled through all 4 games in one sitting silly!" said Mikata. "And in actual gameplay, your energy lasts a LOT longer."

"I see." said Kratos. "Can…I…go…now?"

"Of COURSE you can go." said Mikata. "AFTER, you pass the written examination!"

Mikata materialized before Kratos, and led him towards one of the screens. A door appeared, and Mikata led him through it.

"Follow me." said Mikata.

Inside was a tiny classroom, with even tinier, classroom chair/desk combos, the size for gradeschool children. A green-colored chalkboard was at the front of the room, which Kratos faced.

"Pick a seat, and your test will appear right in front of you!" said Mikata.

Kratos looked at the desks, baffled by how small they were, and equally puzzled as to how he would fit.

"You've got to be kid.." started Kratos.

"SIT!" said Mikata.

Too confused and tired to argue, Kratos inhaled deeply, moving his bottom on one of the desks, and then exhaled, as he managed to squeeze into the desk/chair. Kicking his feet out, he knocked the chairs in front of him aside, and he felt so stooped over he wondered how he still managed to breathe.

Looking down, he saw a test booklet, a scantron sheet, and a #2 pencil appeared in front of him. Mikata sat behind the desk, wearing glasses, and dressed like a teacher.

"Class, there are 100 multiple choice questions to the exam, and you will have 2 hours to complete them." said Mikata. "The test is divided into 4 parts; God of War, God of War II, God of War III, and God of War: Ascenscion, each section containing 25 questions each, so that's 30 minutes per section. Please read the instructions on how to fill out the scrantron sheet."

Kratos read the instructions, and filled in his name and game information where applicable.

"Time's up." said Mikata. "As I said, you will be given 1 hour to complete the test, and if you do not score 100%, you will be here until you do….starting….NOW!"

Kratos began to read the questions from the booklet, and saw the first question.

Who is the main character in God of War?

Ares

Kratos

King Koopa

Crash Bandicoot

This one was easy enough, and Kratos filled out the bubble for option B, moving on to the next few questions.

What powerful artifact must Kratos obtain in order to defeat Ares?

Ares' mother

The original, first-ever console made of Donkey Kong

Pandora's Box

Herme's winged shoes

Kratos answered the questions, one by one, and they seemed to increase in difficulty in each section as the questions continued. Within the first 30 minutes, he filled in all 25 questions for God of War, and moved on to God of War II.

Time seemed to go on forever, until finally, Kratos heard Mikata speak up, just as he was filling in the bubble for question 100.

"Time is up!" said Mikata. "Please turn in your answer sheets!"

Kratos wearily stood up, and handed his answer sheet on over to Mikata. Turning herself into a robot, Mikata opened her mouth, and fed the scantron sheet through, before turning back to her original form. She rubbed her belly, and wore various facial expressions; some happy, some sad, and some as though she were on the verge of vomiting.

"Ugh…oh…hmmm…." said Mikata. "It looks like your score is…."

Mikata wrote in big letters on the board. Kratos looked, and to his astonishment, he could not believe what he saw.

"100%!" said Mikata, confetti suddenly appearing everywhere. "CONGRATULATIONS Kratos! You have passed, and learned everything you need to know for God of War Ultimate Collection!"

In an instant, the settings changed, and "Pomp and Circumstance" played in the background. Kratos found himself onstage outdoors, in a black graduation gown with a graduation cap. Mikata was also wearing the same, and she handed him a rolled-up parchment, shaking his hand, then kissing him on the cheek, leaving a red imprint of lipstick.

"Excelsior!" said Mikata, throwing her graduation cap up in the air.

Kratos, not sure how to react, smiled, shrugged and did the same.

"EXCELSIOR!" said Kratos, throwing his graduation cap in the air, then releasing the Blades of Chaos and shredding it into pieces.

"Nice touch!" said Mikata. "Your training has successfully ended. Hermes will have a printout of your actual graduation diploma, showing that you have successfully completed all required. Sayonara!"

Everything went black, and Kratos heard the sound of something powering down. His vision returned, because the helmet that was originally affixed to his head was now lifted, and the restraints in his chair had loosened, allowing him to get up and move freely.

From the other end of the room, Hermes entered, and gave an applause.

"Brav-VO Kratos!" said Hermes. "Didn't think you had it in you, but you proved me wrong!"

"Do you have my diploma?" asked Kratos.

"Yes, hot off the presses right here." said Hermes. "As soon as this printed, I alerted the Sheriff, and now that the arcade is closed, you can complete your arcade orientation, and Bad-Anon! Come, lets go!"

"Great, more duties." said Kratos tiredly, following Hermes out of the training room and back into the gameplay areas. "How long was YOUR orientation?"

"Oh, I was pre-programmed." said Hermes wryly. "As for the rest, it usually takes about 2 hours, tops, but for the main character, that's an all-day thing."

"Lucky me." grumbled Kratos.

They walked to the entry tram area, where the tram from Game Central Station was docked, and waiting for them there were Sheriff Kip Tumbleweed, and Hero's Duty's Sergeant Calhoun.

"Welcome to God of War: Ultimate Collection Sheriff Tumbleweed!" said Hermes pleasantly. "Here is the paperwork showing that Kratos has had his proper Game Guide orientation."

Sheriff Tumbleweed took the paper, and eyed it, as if not believing what he was seeing.

"Well well well!" said Sheriff Tumbleweed condescendingly. "I guess you do have a law-abiding streak in you!"

Kratos started to growl, but Hermes stopped him.

"Say, Sheriff Tumbleweed, is this your first time in our game?" asked Hermes, in an attempt to placate the Sheriff. "I don't recall having seen you here before."

"Naw, it's my first visit!" said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "But for such a brutal main character you got, it sure looks mighty nice!"

"Then would you let me indulge you in a tour of our game?" asked Hermes. "There are all sorts of light and dark wonders to be explored!"

"Well heck, I think I'd like that." said Sheriff Tumbleweed. "Gotta start makin' my rounds here anyway. Deputy Calhoun, would you escort the prisoner to his arcade orientation and then Bad-Anon meeting?"

"Sure thing Sheriff, have a good tour!" said Calhoun, then turning to Kratos. "Ok, right this way sir."

Sheriff Tumbleweed followed Hermes, Kratos cooperated and went into the tram as directed by Deputy Calhoun, and both parties were on their way.

(Check out character artwork from this book at under RealPMP's folder "Wreck-It Ralph")


End file.
